Why the name, The Recovering Perfectionist? After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I grieved, realizing that I would literally never be able to be perfect at anything because of the unpredictability of the symptoms of my fibromyalgia. I was angry and sad. Then I asked myself why I was so upset. Why am I so bothered that I can’t be perfect? Many people in my life had told me that I was a perfectionist, but I always viewed it as a compliment. I thought that I was the only one who cared enough to try to make things perfect. My perfectionism was a badge of honor.
Now, I am learning to see perfectionism as what it truly is, trying to be God. My perfectionism is an idol that I am trying to give up. With God, I am learning to let go of my perfectionism. It has been so ingrained into who I am that this will be a terribly long process, perhaps a lifetime. My Father is teaching me how to give myself grace like He has given me grace. It is so easy to listen to Perfectionist Elizabeth. She seems like she knows what she is doing and has such great disdain for me that I want to gain her respect, but I am learning to silence her with love. Just like any addict, I cling to my old ways, so I will always be “recovering” from my perfectionism.
My hope is that this blog is a safe place where you have a friend who lets you know that you are not alone. The struggle to find joy and understanding in this broken world is constant, but we can brave it together. May you be as encouraged reading The Recovering Perfectionist as I have been in writing it.