• Health,  Reviews

    How to Find Joy in Cleaning

    Recently, I used the Libby App, a FREE US audiobook and ebook app, to listen to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I had always dreaded cleaning, but Marie Kondo said some things that made me think. She made me realize that my difficulty with tidying was not that it was hard but that I had never really learned how to do it. Making a bed is what Charles Duhigg calls a “keystone habit” in The Power of Habit, one that starts other good habits. Making a bed is just one aspect of tidying. “People cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking.” ―…

  • Devotions,  Fibromyalgia,  Health

    Celebration! – Day 7

    Hooray! We made it through one week! An essential part of habit-forming is celebrating after you have finished the task. We use this for students in teaching too. It’s called “positive reinforcement”, and it works! What I Did Exercise: Yoga Poses, Side Planks, Crunches Colostrum: One Teaspoon Writing: Blog Meditation:  “…My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me…My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will…The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” – Matthew 26:38-41 “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on…

  • Fibromyalgia

    Are You Okay?

    Thank you to The Mighty for publishing this post! Check out their amazing online magazine by clicking the link!   My hand’s shaking. No, not now. I can’t. “Mrs. Auwarter, did you hear me?” “No, I’m sorry, honey, please tell me again.” Stomach clenching. Did I eat this morning? Yes, crackers, scissors cutting at my stomach lining. “So, can you help me?” “Wait, sorry, could you tell me just one more time?” Her eyes roll, and I concentrate on my student’s face. I will understand this time. “Is this sentence, right?” I look down. English? Oh, good, I understand that. It’s fuzzy though. The words aren’t naturally fuzzy. I feel…

  • Health

    Searching for Joy

    Today I woke up with a pain in my chest. I tried to write it away, to pray it away, to read it away. I know that it is both spiritual and physical. I have fought for joy by trying to remember the times of joy. I have taken pictures of things and memories that make me happy on my Instagram and my blog. But… How does one fight for joy when your body and soul strive against you? There is so much to grieve over in the world. One of my students was a puddle of pouring tears today. After talked about what was troubling her, she reminded me of a perfect…

  • Fibromyalgia,  Teaching

    Light Breaking Through Cracks

    This morning was full of twitching, pain, dizziness, and exhaustion. My candle was running low. It couldn’t be burned at any other end. My head became so heavy that I laid my head on my desk during planning. Just a little sleep…maybe? No? Okay. I walked into my 3rd-period class and my mood was immediately lifted. I hadn’t been able to come to this class because I had been testing a separate group of students for two days. The co-teacher and interpreter exclaimed how they missed me and the students had been asking for me. It was good to see my students and make sure that they knew they were…

  • Fibromyalgia,  Health

    Anger

    I believe the lie that anger will give me strength when it actually drains energy from me like a parasite. I believe the lie that anger will give me authority. I believe the lie that anger will help me deal with my pain. I believe the lie that anger about my situation will change it. I believe the lie that it is my right to be angry. I believe the lie that anger should always be expressed. I believe the lie that anger will make people listen to me more. I believe the lie that I should be angry when I can’t control my life. I believe the lie that…

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