This morning I was woken up by the pain and flailing that are all too common for my Saturday mornings. Yesterday I had told myself I would relax but that I would clean the apartment on Saturday. I truly looked forward to it. As soon as I woke up though, I realized that cleaning was not an option for me today.
My husband was woken up by my flailing. I immediately felt guilty for disturbing his sleep. This feeling melted away as he held me tightly. I whispered to him, “I don’t think I’m going to be able to clean today.” He spoke to my heart, “I know this sucks, but it’s okay. God provided this day for you so that you could rest.” My heart was comforted, but a part of me screamed that this was DEFINITELY NOT OKAY.
“We’re going to be okay – even if we feel un-okay.” – Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way
I wanted to do something. I wanted to prove that I was worthwhile because I could be helpful, but God was teaching me a most valuable lesson, resting in Him.
“There are days when the sharp edge of self-condemnation cuts you so deep that you can be reaching, groping but can’t remember to believe that He believes in you.” – Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way
My body will never be well, not in this lifetime, but my soul is still being sanctified to rest in its Maker. I am seeing how He works through me despite my limitations. I know that God is working in me for His glory. I am blessed to be a part of His great work.
I get to minister to my coworkers and students at school.
I get to minister to my husband.
I get to minister to my parents.
I get to minister to my friends.
I am truly blessed to be filled with the love of the Healer, the joy of the Blessing, and the understanding of the Counselor.