Fibromyalgia,  Teaching

Broken

“Mrs. Auwarter, please come to the Media Center.”

Called out in front of the whole school. I forgot. I needed to get testing materials, and I forgot. I want to blame my fibro, remember that it is not a big deal, this is just who I am, but I feel like I am falling apart. What if I forget something important? My body is tired. My stomach tries to eat itself out of my body. The crackers I ate rumble in my stomach.

I pull a paper down and the pushpin jumps out at me. My student signs to me, and I have to ask her to repeat herself several times. My eyes try to close, but I fight them. My legs are screaming pain. My back hunches in an effort to find a comfortable position. My skin feels like the hard part of Velcro is being rubbed against it. My breathing is shallow and labored. My head starts to throb.

Remember, it is how you react to the situation.

I think I’m going to throw up.

Remember, this always happens at a certain time of the month.

I’m better than this though.

Remember, it is not your fault.

Can’t I just take a vacation?

Remember, Spring Break is coming soon. Just hold on. People are counting on you. You don’t have any sick days left.

But, I can’t.

That’s right. You can’t. HE can.

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